You know what would be refreshing? If we could--in a more general sense--understand what "tolerance" might be.
Intolerance is an inability or an unwillingness to hold and apply a general forgiveness: that other people, things, and situations will not be exactly, not even close, to my ideal. Heck, I don't match up to my standard of "tolerable"! I honestly think that if I got to know someone just like me, I couldn't stand him.
("What a passive-aggressive, manipulative little...!")
Have many of us been trained to believe that we have a right to live without annoyance, fear, or challenges? If someone or something annoys, challenges or scares me, then my rights have been violated. "I shouldn't have to put up with this!" Actually, maybe I should put up with this, and a whole lot more than I do!
I was thinking about this as I was paging through some more heated Facebook comments about some topic or another. Accusations and arguments flew between several people, and apparently someone "unfriended" the other. Many of us are easily offended, aren't we? And we forget that the offense is our own reaction, our own responsibility. You don't make me offended or angry. I may become offended or angry, but the emotion and reactions are mine.
I was watching a video recently about some of the isolating dangers we may be facing as a result of our social media and technology. (Sherry Turkle: "Connected but alone?") Many of us are creating "social robots" to be our companions. I can take bits and pieces of my friends, those bits that they felt were interesting, inspiring, or funny enough to share. I can choose to "like" or respond to and incorporate from those bits and pieces and add them to all my various "likes" etc. I create a kind of fluid, seemingly organic, interactive creature. When bits of my social robot/companion--those bits and pieces of my friends--share games or "likes" that bug me, I can often choose to "ignore." If they really annoy or bore me, I can "unlike" or "unfriend" as quick as a click, so that my social robot returns to its more fun, assuring, interesting, and tolerable self.
What a great way to put up with so many people! I let my favorite, enjoyable chosen parts of my friends drift closer, and can easily distance, ignore or cut off those that annoy or challenge me too much. If this is how we choose to respond, however, then perhaps tolerance is becoming an increasingly rare skill, in spite of an increasingly diverse and "connected" world?
I could be wrong. I hope I am.
More in a day or so...
