...I smoked cigarettes for a few years, just prior to getting married, no more than a half a pack a day at my worst. It lead to my first real use of the Jesus prayer that Pastor Jon talked about last week, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me, a sinner.” Or, for me the shorter kyrie from the start of our service, “Lord, have mercy. Christ, have mercy.” I quit smoking at the start of my marriage, I’ll admit because Pauline explained my options, and I didn’t like the alternative. So, I used my cravings as a kind of trigger to remind me to pray that prayer. It’s harder to break your promises when you’re praying. Even with that, it took me more than five years before the craving stopped. I’ve done this for other temptations as my little way of saying, “Get thee behind me, Satan. Go bury yourself.” And that’s not bad, not a horrible thing to include in your own fasting or Lenten disciplines.
But
here’s the downside. As my craving for cigarettes became less frequent,
what do you think happened to my prayers? Because I had tied them so
closely to my cravings, they became less frequent, too. Was I really
developing my relationship with Christ, or using him as a patch? It’s
amazing what God puts up with!
You
know what he really wants? Do you know what God wants more than
temptation-free, clean-nosed, non-smoking mini-Jesus’s running around?
He wants people to know the height, breadth, depth and length of his
love. He wants his relationship with us, his forgiveness, to shift the
way that we look at ourselves, our bodies, and other people; he wants us
to start seeing his love in them and in us. Of course, he wants that
love for us to change bad habits. Obviously, he wants his love to
inspire us as his Body to take active roles against violence,
degradation, injustice, molestation, the works! What Almighty Father
wouldn’t want that for his children?
...As
the country song I listened to yesterday tells all the stuff of life
that tries to tear us down, “You might win this round but you can’t keep
me down, 'Cause I'll stand back up.” We will stand back up, every time
and at the last. Not by our own might or even our own will to survive,
but only because Jesus, for our sake, when the time was right, let
himself get knocked down, grabbed hold of us, and with all the strength
of the Father, Son and Spirit, stood up, leaving our accuser, Satan, to
sink in his dust behind him.
full manuscript: March 18, 2009
