The truth is: sometimes I suck at this. I've heard compliments about how I live out my callings, as a father, pastor, husband. I'll admit--just to you--that often it's very uncomfortable to accept these. Compliments seem more appropriate for the man I wish I was.
Full disclosure: yes, I sent my boys off to school the other morning with a hug and kiss on each head. I said, "No matter what..." and they answered, "...you always love us." That's the "good" part. What it ignores is all the nagging, manipulation, anger, dark thoughts, and--frankly--poor fathering that got them to the drop-off zone at school.
Yes, I love my wife, deeply. She amazes and stuns me. At my best I've remembered to tell her. That's the "good" part. What that hides are the cynical snide remarks, lack-luster hellos or goodbyes, too-frequently broken promises, and--honestly--the weak husband to whom she's been married for more than twenty years.
The truth is: the only way I'm going to make it with my head up, is for God's grace and their undeserved forgiveness to prop me up as I stumble along through life, because, sometimes, I really suck at this.
