This evening, I was listening to an excellent talk by Dr. Lois Malcolm. I may not be able to capture it for you, but her words hit me deep, where I most needed them. My eyes are still welling up.
In this world of non-religious spirituality (if we are going to maintain any relevance or integrity) what is the role of the church today, or of a pastor? Is it to steer people from sin and error, or to clean them up and make them presentable, so that when we are all called to stand before God at the end, we can each present our card of credentials: our successes? the sins we overcame? or the hardships we endured? or how connected and spiritually powerful we were? (What value did Paul give any of this before Christ?)
No, instead, take this moment right now and think of your deepest flaw, worst mistakes or sins, and the ugliest part of you that you would hate for people to see... That recollection and awareness of your brokenness and limitations is your conscience. My first job as pastor, and our job as a church, is to help you "to stand up...in your conscience...before God and the world."
That's what hit me. I can stand up, even with all the stuff and history that I just can't seem to shake off, put down, or even let go of. I can stand up...in my conscience...before God, and before the world. That is freedom; that is defiance against the accusations, self-hate, and any lingering darkness of my soul.
We can all and each become a place where weakness and failures are our strength. We do not rise above the world. We are in it. We do not carry God's Kingdom into the world through purity, or successfully endured hardships, or spiritual powers, but through the merciful love and forgiveness with which the Spirit has drenched us.
The church is accused, and rightfully so, of defining and preaching endlessly against worldly sins. Dr. Malcolm suggests that we would do much better if we were roll around like blissful dogs drenching our fur in the forgiveness and love of God, and soaking it in, so that when we present ourselves out in the world, that is all that will spill off of us and onto others.
You, (you beautiful, broken, half-glued, sticky mess of child's art) you can "stand up in your conscience" before God, and the world!