I am very grateful that my congregation has a sabbatical policy for the pastors, offering up to 3 months every seven years. While I am two years away from my next opportunity, they were especially kind to advance me one month now. I was going to take a two-day course at Pacific Lutheran University, but the cost was a bit high. Instead, I am laying out a course of exercise, yard work, and self-study.
Last night, I read a short book about being content. It took a little over an hour, including time for reflection.
Now, this was out of the Zen tradition, and--at least for me--needs translation. Leo Babauta finds his contentment and value within himself. However, what I need is to trust that the God of creation looked at his creation (including me) and found it good; he created and sees value in me, a work of his own hand. God sees enough value that he is willing to reside within me through his Spirit (a promise of my baptism) and through Christ he was willing to use his own life in order to claim and keep me. Babauta says that we won't find this contentment and value from external sources. I think he's right that we won't find it in the "world" outside of us. However, I believe that intrinsic and internal value and--therefore, true contentment--got its start from a much bigger source than myself. That Source makes my value, and potential contentment, all the more stable, reliable, and (God help me) believable.
With that perspective, I did find the words and activities helpful for self-acceptance, and for dealing with negative emotions - my own and others'.
Here's a first nugget:
"If you have a friend who is constantly late and breaking his word, not showing up when he says he will, eventually you’ll stop trusting that friend. It’s like that with yourself, too. It’s hard to like someone you don’t trust, and it’s hard to like yourself if you don’t trust yourself."
The suggestion is to take small steps toward regaining trust in yourself. Make a very doable promise to yourself, and keep it, and then another.
The Little Book of Contentment by Leo Babauta. (May, 2013; It may only be available in digital form. You can click the title above or download the .pdf version for free.)
I'll post a few more nuggets in days to come from this little booklet, but I've also started to read his print book, The Power of Less; The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential...in Business and in Life. I saw it on display at our denomination's regional assembly. It reminded me of a very helpful book, Simple Church, which I read a few years back.
