Spirit-filler

Today was the last day of a week's "stay-cation" for me. I posed as a "drop-off" parent, leaving my kids in their normal Sunday school classes where my wife would pick them up later. Then, I drove across town to worship with a congregation that I've wanted to visit for a number of years, Evergreen Foursquare. A few minor obstacles nearly tempted me to stay home, but I am grateful that the nudging to go was strong enough to ignore those temptations.

I happened to visit on the day that the congregation was observing "Pastor-Appreciation Day" - an opportunity that comes around each October. I felt truly blessed to watch as two faithful witnesses to the gospel and their families were thanked in words and symbolic gifts, and I was reminded of those who've gone out of their way at times to affirm my service and calling.

As the worship leaders lead in song--and relieved of my normal leader-responsibilities--it was refreshing to close my eyes, and abide in a place that Christ promised to be: where people had gathered in his name. On occasion, in my own congregation I get lost in the song or in real worship, but what a gift to be a part of the larger flock for a little while. And then, I was able to receive a message that encouraged and spoke to me.

The message included a heart-felt reminder of the gifts, dangers, joys and struggles of pastoral mininstry. One of the points Pr. Doug lifted up is our human desire to "fix" people and their relationships. For pastors, "the veil that hides family life is lifted," he said, and we are honored to be with people in the midst of their joys, births, baptisms, marriages, struggles, tragedies, divorces, deaths, etc.

Sometimes the struggles can seem to outweigh the joys. Into this God sends some of us, and we get the idea that we are called to lead and fix and resolve. Many times we are, or at least we feel, inadequate to the task. We don't help save all marriages, we don't raise the dead. Relationships with God in our families and congregations don't grow on linear plot-lines. There are seasons. God's Spirit must fill the spaces that we necessarily leave.

I especially appreciated it when he suggested that the gift of marriage comes not only from seeing how it may reflect our relationship with God, but also how it contrasts. Marriages sometimes reveal how, even in this most intimate human relationship, we are not able to be and provide everything that another being needs. We cannot fill every need. We cannot be Savior for each other.

Pr. Doug also reminded us that the way God's Spirit works in peoples' lives, and in my life, has to be seen over the long-haul. There peaks and valleys. The Spirit connects and fills them. And even then, I am not measured. I am not measured by doings and accomplishments.

Nor are you. You are not measured according to how well you held it together, by your inadequacies, or your successes. You are measured by God's love for you. Through Christ, this is a love that joined you in life, in death, and in resurrection. With him, as I've recently heard, the cup is not half-empty or half-full. He fills it.

Solo-Parenting (briefly)

Just a few thoughts. My wife is on her well-deserved sabbatical this year, and she recently returned from a 10-day visit to the East Coast. She says 9-day, but Sunday through Sunday is actually eight, plus Monday and most of Tuesday = 10, right? ...Right. Anyway, the boys and I had to make do without her.

I joked about being a 'single parent,' but there were plenty of differences. She left us with provisions, and it was a short enough trip that many of the things she normally does could wait for her return. (That doesn't mean I didn't shop, cook, and do some laundry, folks.) More important: there was an end in sight, and, in the meantime, I was still able to touch bases with Pauline; I still had my life-partner within "speaking distance."

Occasionally, I said, "I don't know how single parents can do this full time." On the other hand, about half-way through we had a rhythm to our days, even with commuting, and needing to meet Mac's bus, and several evening meetings back at the church, and full-day-agendas. Because we could afford it, the extra childcare for 4-year-old Trevan was certainly handy. And, believe me, I wouldn't trade those ten days with my boys for anything! The one-on-one time that I had with each, bowling, movies, story and TV-time was all fun and memorable.

With help, with the benefit of a full-time income, solo-parenting is "do-able"... but challenging and tiring. I was grateful and relieved that it was only 10 days. Because, in that limited time--even with work, affordable daycare, and all my church friends and peers--I could sense how very isolating single-parenting can be. ...and if I had been looking for a job, or couldn't afford adequate day-care? Holy-moly. Getting on top of that can't happen without a lot of outside help.

There are many long-term single parents around us. There are also people who are--effectively--single-parenting. Sometimes we look at them from our limited perspectives, and we're sure they are doing it all wrong. But there are huge differences between what we see and assume about other people's lives, abilities & resources, and our lives.

Say a little prayer, and then offer an extra hand. It makes a difference!