Have you ever been in a glitter fight?

So, I was listening to a (new for me) favorite song, Glitter in the Air, sung by Pink. It has me thinking,

ironically, not about the past, but more about the present and possible future.

That feels so good! It feels good to be smiling inside and outside. I've got a lot that still needs healing and attention... emotionally, spiritually, financially, as a parent, and as a man.

Here's the thing. Last week, I was at a function where there were friends who knew me before my recent divorce. For most of them, though, this was the first time since then. It was kind of funny the way people would light up and say, "Oh! Hi Greg!" ...Then, I could tell when it hit them as we closed for a warm handshake or a hug ("oh yes, Greg is divorced now") and their faces would suddenly change to a more somber, sympathetic look. "How are you doing, Greg? How are the boys?"

I would assure each of them that, as hard as it was, I am grateful for the partnership I have with my ex-wife, grateful for our sons, grateful that things are not contentious, grateful for my new congregation, etc. ...AND I very much appreciated their compassion. I really did!

That experience last week solidified something in me that I want to share with you. You see, I could look at those 21 years with my ex-wife as a complete waste, destroyed by its dissolution. But that is not an accurate view. I was married to a smart, beautiful woman. We traveled, had great experiences, talked and supported, loved and encouraged. We adopted two amazing boys. I was pastor of two, and now three, congregations full of the most wonderful, challenging, supportive, idiosyncratic, solid and odd people! Those experiences, that marriage, these relationships, and all this love was and is real. It happened. It is all "gift".

I could look at our marriage therapy and all our work trying to keep our marriage together as a waste of time and an utter failure. Taking that position would probably make it so. Instead, by struggling through it, I know that I come away with a healthier sense of boundaries, the need to balance my insecurity and repressed anxiety with risk taking and my spontaneity, work life with family life. I have a healthier acceptance of my own sexuality, its desires, limits and allowances. Even though our counseling did not, finally, "succeed" in keeping us married, because of our struggle and by holding onto the best of it, I believe this has taught and matured me more than any other experience in my life.

I choose to see the abundance of all of this, instead of focusing on the scarcity of what I have lost and had to give up. Yes, my path has changed...dramatically. No, I will not be the dream husband to my ex-wife that I meant to be. However, I can strive and ask my friends' and God's help to be a great ex-husband, friend, and co-parent.

Beyond that, don't you think: since I have experienced love, a woman's passion, laughter, relationships, learning, etc. in my past, that there is still more ahead... especially when my arms are open to it? Who knows what and who might lie ahead?

The path to ongoing joy, the way to "taste and see that the Lord is good," includes, not just the good experiences, but also the redemption of the past. Redemption does not necessarily heal all wounds; it does not make everything "okay," and it does not justify the worst things that happen. But redemption is the very real truth that--out of even the worst--great things, events, people, experiences, heroes, inspiration, art, learning, and hope all arise.

For a time, I was utterly crushed, and tempted to throw everything, ...everything, away. That is a feeling I have visited a number of times in my life, and several times after. What I see, think, and feel in those moments is a warped and false half-truth. As a person of faith, I hold that--even if the next moment might kill me--good comes.

Even now, though, I can expect, hope and even plan an ever-changing bucket list of new experiences.

So: the song!! Listen to the link above, or this live version of Glitter in the Air (Pink's beautiful performance of the song at the 2010 GRAMMYs.) If the lyrics would help you, here: Google them.

You could interpret this as a song solely about past experiences and lost chances.

...OR, you might hear it the way I am hearing it. It describes past experiences, sure, but also present and future opportunities!

What would your bucket-list be... not for yourself, but for you with your loves, your family and friends, and strangers you have not yet met?

Have you ever? What would you add? Will you?


As a side note: If I were to answer each of her questions in the song's lyrics it would be:
Yes, Yes, No, Yes.
chorus (Yes.)
Yes, Yes, No.
chorus
bridge
Yes, No, Yes.

Does Prayer Work for Real? Part 2

After my previous post about prayer, I received an email from a praying woman that I respect and upon whom I depend. She wrote, "Dear Pastor:  I am having a little trouble with what you said about praying, and I need you to give me some of your wisdom in more detail than I see in your message.  At night when I can't sleep--frequently--I pray, and try to pray for people outside of my circle of family and friends. So, last night, I was thinking about those poor African girls who were kidnapped by the terrorist group. The latest I have read about them: The leader of the group informed their families that they have been sold and prostituted out. Then, I wondered if it did any good to pray for them as their fate has already been laid out, and my prayers aren't going to make any difference. Why should I pray for them? Then, l tried praying for my children and the same thought came to my mind.  I need you to help me other than saying it's good for my soul?????"

Wow. For better or worse, here's how I answered...

Martin Luther had 3 simple answers:
1) "Pray because God told you to."
2) "That should be enough, but pray because he also promised to listen. Always." He wants to hear and be there for you.
3) "Finally, pray because God promised to answer."

As I said in my blog, prayer makes us a "part of the whole conversation" of asking and receiving. And my blog on prayer tried to show that prayer is much more than just "good for my soul," but that prayer is the greatest driving power for huge and small things to happen in the world.

God is gracious and includes us, our prayers and our prayerful actions, as part of the power that changes the world. Think about it: You and millions of people pray fervently for the African girls; meanwhile, as a result of all this prayerful attention turned toward them, people and groups and governments and countries and resources around the world have turned their attention on them.

God's Spirit started working from the first cry of the girls, & their families, spreading out to the world. So, it's true that you're not trying to convince God to care; he already does. But God uses your prayers, together with everyone else's prayers to motivate human action in order to do his powerful work.

Second, you pray for your own children in the night. You are maintaining your love and connection, both with God and your children. God hears, agrees, and answers with his own eternal love, which is even greater than yours.  He lovingly holds you, too, while you pour out your heart. His vision and ability to redeem goes far beyond any immediate losses and fears. Part of his (sometimes frustrating) answer is: I know. Wait. Hang on.

I also believe that when you pray for someone, God actually does send his Spirit or some connection at that very moment to that other person, whether or not they realize it. All I'm saying is that you don't have to convince God to care. He already does. He's just waiting for you to talk to him and ask for the help.


Also, look how your prayer led you to take action. For instance, as a result of praying, you sent me an email. That continues the conversation, and led to a response, too! This is God's Spirit at work, from my blog to you, your prayers and email back to me, and now back to you.

Prayer is not one way. It is a back and forth conversation that includes your husband and children, your dog, nature, garden, quilting, ...your whole life. God is always talking to you through these,  and you are always responding back to him, one way or another, with how you live your life.

Finally, what if the lepers never stopped Jesus and asked him for help? What if the people never asked Moses to pray for food and water? Sometimes, (often) God may know what we want, but he doesn't or can't give it or take action until someone asks for it. Sometimes, I might know what Trevan wants, but he still needs to ask. Again, for whatever reason, we are a key part of the whole conversation: praying, listening, trusting, receiving, and thanking. Our prayers can get the ball rolling. If we don't pray, nothing or very little will happen!

The Bible tells about the more dramatic miraculous answers to prayer, and I believe in these... I've seen and experienced them. And they prove my point: If people aren't  praying about it, asking God to help, then very little will ever get done, whether by human or divine power. Prayer drives it.

God has been doing even greater things. He fed Moses' wandering tribe using quail, manna, and water from a rock. However, he has fed whole countries through the Red Cross and LWR! Without concerned, praying people, this would not happen!  Just because they happen through people and agencies and governments, etc. doesn't make them any less "powerful" than the miraculous signs.


I knew that my blog entry wasn't a complete answer, esp for believing Christians. I was responding to something I read that suggested, "Prayer is useless when the real issue is that children are starving, or dying from the Ebola virus." I was trying to show that prayer...even if you take the "miraculous" expectations out...prayer leads people to notice and do something about it. Prayer is the root of compassionate action. Without praying people, very very few good things will ever happen.

Pray!!! But also trust that God wants to hear you, he listens, and he will take action now, later, or in the life to come, as a direct result of your prayers.

I love you, Mom. And I pray for you more than you know, too.

Greg