Clearing out the Garage

Yesterday was the last of my month-long sabbatical. I finishing it by clearing space in my garage, tossing out old projects and items, many of which should have never been brought into the garage. The idealist in me over-commits: "Oh, I could make something out of that, or use that!" Looking over all the stuff in my garage, I could see and feel the weight of all those unfinished projects and promises.

Sometimes what happens on the outside mimics and feeds what's happening on the inside. Letting go of physical stuff can help us let go of emotional and spiritual weight, too.

More than catharsis, it's about narrowing and focusing our time, talents, resources, and energy to be more effective in a few areas, rather than dabbling and never finishing or even starting a thousand other things.

This branches from earlier posts about being content. Discontent with ourselves, current situations, or others leads some to amass stuff, projects, committees or responsibilities. I think at some point discontent grows in proportion to the unused stuff, unfulfilled hopes, and unfinished projects we've collected. There's more to worry over, too many times and ways that we feel we've let ourselves or others down.

More than likely, others around us have moved on. They don't need to carry our baggage. Have we moved on? We can. By letting go. There many things worth doing, worth time and energy, but maybe not our time and energy.

There are quite a few things I have enjoyed doing or building in my garage, but what has fed me more than anything else? Painting. However, I let other things to move into my "studio space" in the garage, thinking it would only be a few weeks. Instead, I should have used that intrusion as a reason to say "no" to the added stuff and projects.

In life, protect what's most valuable by giving them most of your time, energy and space. That includes your faith in and worship of God, your family, and physical, emotional and spiritual health (and, depending on individual deficits, not necessarily in that order). That means letting go of some plans, good ideas, responsibilities, and even some marginally fun hobbies.

Right now, I'm reading The Power of Less, by Leo Babauta. He describes habits that can help de-clutter our lives in terms of time and energy. I'm only a few chapters into it, but looking forward to working on some of his suggestions! If any of this rings true for you, this is my recommended summer reading.

Blessings!

Content ≠ Complacent

I've blogged a couple of notes from The Little Book of Contentment by Leo Babauta. In the last section of his booklet, he answered FAQs. It's clear that people's greatest fear of being "content" is that they will lose their motivation to achieve or succeed.

Aren't we driven by competition with others or by dissatisfaction with the status quo? If we're "content," why bother? Babauta lifts up two things that continue to motivate him: 1) his desire to learn, and 2) his desire to help. He has found that he is a more successful learner and helper from his base of contentment. Even when content, we still "want" to learn, to have relationships, and to help.

As Christians, we can start from a base of grace: God's forgiveness and acceptance, his unshakable claim on us. In other words, when I know that I'm okay, then I can focus on the needs of others and on creation.

And I believe our curiosity, about others, about creation, about anything, in the context of our relationship with God is a way to love, honor and worship him. He loves our curiosity. He made us like that! (Maybe because God is curious?) Babauta's second mantra is good: "We are all learning." I'd include the arts and musical expression in that exploration and curiosity.

Still, I believe in a certain amount of "discontent" in the area of God's justice and love. Jesus wasn't always "content." Scripturally, it's about making sure the widows and orphans are not neglected, that the vulnerable in our society, including the sick, outcasts, foreigners, prostitutes, etc., are cared for, that they are included and seen as a part of the whole. It's about wanting others to know that they are loved by God and by Christ's followers. It's about meeting needs, and about wanting to share his love and grace with those that don't know it, believe it, or feel it.

God's passionate discontent in us may help us to see pain, unfairness, or suffering, and to respond with our own tears and actions.

However, yes: this all stands on a firm base of contentment within myself. "I" am okay. "I" can decrease, so that "he" might increase. I and my needs, fears, wants, etc. can decrease, so that God and the needs of others, or of exploration and discovery in creation, music and art can all increase.

Gusts and Giggles

Leaves dance in wild gusts

On a grey morn, and a boy

Giggles in his sleep. 

GSKaurin June, 2013

 

We see in the mirror... dimly.

Last night my wife and I saw the new Star Trek movie. I confess that I occasionally covet the persona of Captain James T. Kirk, ...well not everything about him, but the bravado, swagger, luck, charisma, strength, authority, etc. What if I had those best parts of his character?   hmmm...

Even people who--on the surface--seem confident and content can harbor a degree of disappointment and discontent: with themselves, with their lives, what they've done, or where they are right now. We may try our hardest not to compare ourselves to others, or to the caracatures of the ideal person we wish we could be, but it happens. We do compare or fantasize what it would be like if only we had that body or ability, charm, wealth, lack of baggage or fears... and then with those thick glasses we look in the mirror. To varying degree we feel let down by the person we see.

And there may even be an imagined god, an internal voice, who looks over our shoulder at the reflection with us and, scowling, whispers his accusing judgments into our ear. "Look how you fail me. You call yourself a Christian?" We don't measure up on any scale to the person or life we "ought to" be or have.

"...In reality, no one you see is what you think they are — you only see certain parts of the story, the good parts, and rarely see the person’s doubt and anguish and discontent. People don’t share their warts and hemorrhoids, just the great pictures of their food and vacation and children."

-Babauta, Leo (May, 2013). The Little Book of Contentment.

These comparisons may motivate us for brief moments to strive for what seems healthier living, exercise, organization, better habits, etc. Occasionally, we gain some victories and have those moments of "yes" only to place the bar a little higher, find some other flaw, or backslide into the old self. These comparisons, that demeaning internal voice, and any scale of how we "ought to" be, look or act are distructive lying demons.

Contentment isn't achieved. Contentment is accepting the reality, but not just the disappointing "reality" we see in that mirror (because that image is false; it has been warped and smeared by those lying demons). Contentment is accepting the greater reality of who God sees when he looks at each of us. Contentment is accepting and trusting the amazing forgiveness and ability to redeem and act and heal through us, to breath, love, laugh, help.

The Little Book of Contentment: "Contentment is about letting go of these fantasies, and realizing that life is amazing without them. People around us are amazing without the fantasies. We are amazing, without the fantasies. How do we let go of the fantasies? First by shining the light of awareness on them. Watch ourselves fantasize, realize that it’s happening, realize that we don’t need the fantasies. Be OK with letting them go. Watch reality closely, and recognize life’s awesomeness, as it is, without the fantasies. It’s there. We just need to learn to see it."

If we could only truly see with the eyes of God, like Jesus, who looks at us and sees beauty, someone he forgives--not only because he's merciful--but also because he loves us more than we love ourselves. When content, we can see with his eyes. It takes trust and practice to take off the thick smeared glasses of lies and false fantasies, and use his eyes to see ourselves, others, and creation.


Contentment, by the way, is not complacency. We can be content AND develop healthy habits, as well as learn, grow, help and even achieve. ...More on that later.

Contentment

I am very grateful that my congregation has a sabbatical policy for the pastors, offering up to 3 months every seven years. While I am two years away from my next opportunity, they were especially kind to advance me one month now. I was going to take a two-day course at Pacific Lutheran University, but the cost was a bit high. Instead, I am laying out a course of exercise, yard work, and self-study.

Last night, I read a short book about being content. It took a little over an hour, including time for reflection.

Now, this was out of the Zen tradition, and--at least for me--needs translation. Leo Babauta finds his contentment and value within himself. However, what I need is to trust that the God of creation looked at his creation (including me) and found it good; he created and sees value in me, a work of his own hand. God sees enough value that he is willing to reside within me through his Spirit (a promise of my baptism) and through Christ he was willing to use his own life in order to claim and keep me. Babauta says that we won't find this contentment and value from external sources. I think he's right that we won't find it in the "world" outside of us. However, I believe that intrinsic and internal value and--therefore, true contentment--got its start from a much bigger source than myself. That Source makes my value, and potential contentment, all the more stable, reliable, and (God help me) believable.

With that perspective, I did find the words and activities helpful for self-acceptance, and for dealing with negative emotions - my own and others'.


Here's a first nugget:

"If you have a friend who is constantly late and breaking his word, not showing up when he says he will, eventually you’ll stop trusting that friend. It’s like that with yourself, too. It’s hard to like someone you don’t trust, and it’s hard to like yourself if you don’t trust yourself."

The suggestion is to take small steps toward regaining trust in yourself. Make a very doable promise to yourself, and keep it, and then another.


The Little Book of Contentment by Leo Babauta. (May, 2013; It may only be available in digital form. You can click the title above or download the .pdf version for free.)

I'll post a few more nuggets in days to come from this little booklet, but I've also started to read his print book, The Power of Less; The Fine Art of Limiting Yourself to the Essential...in Business and in Life. I saw it on display at our denomination's regional assembly. It reminded me of a very helpful book, Simple Church, which I read a few years back.