Santa Untethered

Santa Claus and I have a different relationship now that I am an adult. 

Yes, there was once a "real" St. Nicholas, or several of them. However, even the stories about the historical figures are traditions and legends. The point is, Santa--under any name or dress--long ago became a symbol or persona. His persona is often and easily untethered from deeper, valuable meaning.

 

With that in mind, you could let him go...entirely...into the hands of merchandizing and entertainment. Or, you could do what Christians have been doing with old Nordic traditions, yule logs, evergreens, and candlelight all along. Reappropriate Santa's image for your family, or choose better ones. Martin Luther, the Reformer, is thought to have favored a spiritual visitation and blessing from the Christ Child (or Christkindl', aka Kris Kringle).

 

For me, with the stories and traditions that have grown around him, Santa may be more important, more "real," and valuable to me than when I was a kid. I sometimes miss my innocent childhood acceptance, rarely, but I wouldn’t trade it for the deeper spirit and beautiful truths that Santa brings to me as an adult, especially as a father. One of my favorite images that I will show my boys is Santa, with his hat off, praying at the manger scene.

 

So, I'm not going to push you to set your children down to immediately tell them the whole truth, nor would I encourage you to use craft to carefully guard the Santa-secret. If they flat-out ask, they're ready, and you can tell them. Then, tell them what Santa means to you, and what he doesn't mean to you. Give them a few options on what to do with Santa now that they know, and let them. 

 

My oldest asked earlier this year. He was proud of himself that he had already "figured it out." Now, he's having fun planning what he's going to leave for Santa instead of the usual cookies and milk, knowing that I'm the one who's supposed to eat it! Heh, dream on, kid. Then, he surprised me by saying that there are probably lots of things that we've done for him that he never realized.

There is truth and meaning in story. Even "facts" speak for more than themselves. Personally, I was gullible enough to believe in Peter Pan when I first heard about him (which leads to a story I'm not going to tell). I soon learned the difference between "fiction" and "non-," but still I hold onto the sense of "magic" and meaning behind the surface of life. Call it "belief." You can feel the connection between an atom and the universe, or between an apple and the starving child who ought to be biting into it. Stories can connect things like this, and they can sometimes motivate us to live different, or to take action.

 

C'mon. Has the story of Santa ever changed a life, or saved a life? ...Hmm. You know what? I'd bet it has. So, no, don't let Santa crowd Christ out from Christmas. He wouldn't want that. The place of Santa's story is serving, giving, kneeling and worshiping. Ah: like as an example!

obeundum ineptus (completely inept) - or, Martin Luther's Sacristy Prayer

My church's newsletter editor showed me this prayer, and we used it for the cover of the service order for my recent installment as pastor in a new congregation. There have been times that I've prayed like this in the sacristy ...or in my office ...or walking up the aisle to lead a service. My internal prayers are often less reverent, i.e. "God, you put me in this #*@% situation; gimme a hand here!"

Luther said it much better (translation from the early 20th C):

Lord God, Thou hast made me a pastor and teacher in the Church. Thou seest how unfit I am to administer rightly this great and responsible office, and had I been without Thine aid and counsel I would surely have ruined it long ago.

Therefore I do invoke Thee, how gladly do I desire to yield and consecrate my heart and mouth to this ministry. I desire to teach the congregation. I further desire ever to learn and keep Thy Word my constant companion and to meditate thereupon earnestly.

Use me as Thine instrument in Thy service. Only do not forsake me, for if I am left to myself, I will certainly bring it all to destruction. Amen.

----.----

An older version puts it in Latin - Here and there, it's even better:

Domini Deus, tu constituisti me in Ecclesia Episcoporum, Pastorem, vides, quam sim ad tantum et tam difficile munus obeundum ineptus, et si absque tuo auxilio fuissem, iamdudum evertissem omnia. 

Ideo te invoco. Ego quidem os et cor applicare volo, docebo populum, discam ipse et meditabor diligenter in verbo tuo,

Tu me instrumento tuo utere: tantum ne dereliquas me: So enim solis fuero, facile perdidero omnia.

Now that Movember is over...

I don't know if I get irritated or annoyed. At the very least, I find it - interesting.

If someone tries a new hairstyle (if I even notice) I might make a comment if I honestly think it's cute, striking, sharp, or some other positive adjective. If someone takes time with their make-up and dress, I'm not observant or stylish enough to say, "I like that mascara on you," or, "Mauve really brings out the sparkle in your eyes." On the other hand, I might say, "You look great today, healthy, happy."

On the other hand, if someone looks especially tired or disheveled, I might pull her or him aside to say, "Are you okay? You look a bit tired today."

What I don't do is say, "Wow, are you going for the Gothic look?" I don't say, even to a good friend, "You look better without all that make-up," or "I'm glad you finally had that wart removed!"

If someone grows facial hair, or cuts it off, I might say, "You've got something on your face," or, "Hey, that's new!" I might even complement the person if I happen to think it looks good.

I find it interesting, especially when uninvited, that men's facial hair seems completely open for what would otherwise be rude or inappropriate comments and reactions. "That looks horrible on you." "I don't like beards or mustaches." My brother grew a mustache for Movember and told me that one of his peers at work purposefully cringes and refuses to look at him while they talk, at least until he "cuts that thing off." I am sensitive to the fact that for some there can be real fear or discomfort associated with facial hair, possibly associated with past trauma or experiences. I also realize that beards and mustaches are "right there" and obvious, perhaps to the point of distraction. If new on some one's face, it's probably better to say something than to try to pretend, or to be constantly staring or avoiding.

I suppose that some assume that by growing or shaving something so obvious, the person is inviting commentary. Truth be told, the attention--especially if positive--might be appreciated by that person. And yet, I've been taught that--in polite company--I should not assume that the way a person dresses or looks is an invitation for any comment or reaction on my part.

Maybe there are some over-generalized social rules of conduct in this for men and women. Some people are quick and happy to comment on each others' choices in style, dress, skin art, etc. Familiar friends and family may be more free to put in their two cents (or dollars) when they think someone has made a horrible mistake with their hair, clothes, jewelry, tattoos, make-up, etc. It brings a nostalgic grin to my face when I remember Grandma Jessie's reaction each time I visited during and after college: "When are you going to shave that horrible thing off?"

Occasionally people do ask for others' opinions, even their online votes. It seems, then, that if permission is expressly given, honest opinions can be offered. I do appreciate knowing my wife's preference. I also appreciate that when I've shaved, she's kind enough not to constantly remind me, or wrinkle her nose and say, "Ew!" each time she turns my way.

What do you think? When a person lets his/her hair grow out (whether facial, head, or body) does that automatically give all friends and peers the right to publicly critique, or take votes, or loudly offer their negative opinions?  Maybe it's okay; I find it interesting.