The Red Eye's Truth

Mac has conjunctivitis. Yesterday, he and I filled his prescription for eye-drops. When I first tried to administer the dreaded drop, he would have none of it. He flinched and pulled away. I gave him a couple minutes to breathe, relax, and to try again. Things only got worse from there, until he was sobbing, and I was red with anger.

It didn't seem to matter that I wasn't going to hurt him, that these drops would be no more than a brief irritant, that he was over-reacting, that I--with my 46 years of life experience and vast medical knowledge (guffaw)--knew exactly what I was saying and doing! Trust me, damn it! What the hell are you so afraid of? 

...oh.

I finally gave up. That was my first smart move. His mother called to check how things were going. I began to air my grievances. By then, however, I considered the fact that Mac is very sensitive to touch. He loves his hugs, tickles, and snuggles, He enjoys people in his personal space when it's clearly affection. Flip the coin, and he can't stand negative touch, i.e. being steered, restrained, or pulled. I realized that he couldn't help but feel threatened by this intrusion into his space and against his very vulnerable eye. I did not know what to do from that point. I envisioned clamping his head in my hands while his mom would force open his eyelid with one hand, aim and squeeze a drop with the other. That did not sound like a good time.

His mother agreed. She also had an idea. She has many of the same issues with medication, and the anxiety that he feels. She long ago learned how to administer her own eye-drops. "Let me show him what I do, and maybe he'll pick it up from there." Well, it worked like a charm, of course. He is administering his own drops, and is rightfully proud. I feel a bit sheepish, but grateful. 

Here's at least one lesson. Even if I am not, actually, a big scary man, even when I'm right and know what's best, there are things and situations in which I will not be able to teach it or make it happen. It is possible that the very contrast in style helped Mac to be more receptive to his mother's approach. In any case, the result is better: greater independence and accomplishment. 

I need to be more quick and willing to let go of my expectations, my goals, and my pride, to ask for help, or to pass the baton. Before I completely lose my... [patience], if it still needs to happen, it probably will...if and when I let it go!